Anecdotes, Part 3

{My Anecdotes are posts in which I comment on my observations of unexpected cultural differences, or just amusing incidents that don’t really warrant their own individual blog post.}

1. You know how as soon as duchesses Kate or Meghan are photographed, whatever they’re wearing immediately sells out, especially if it’s a lower-priced item from a high street shop instead of designer? Well, I finally had my royal-fashion-matching experience, though it wasn’t a princess from this country, per se. But I spotted this magazine at a news agent, and recognised something from my closet:

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So, as a tabloid would ask, Who Wore It Best?

She didn’t even add a complementary tiara. She should sack her stylist.

Actually, I’ll give the win to my friend Ruth, who had the shirt first, and I copied her.

2. Speaking of Who Wore It Best, here are London vs. Portland, OR, tree notices:

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3. We received an email from the headmistress of R’s nursery school about the man who teaches the children “sport” once a week (he taught E sport when she was there, too). He won’t be able to teach sport to the nursery children anymore because he’s leaving “to pursue his professional darts career.” Seriously.

4. E came home from school and announced they had started learning songs for the Christmas concert. What song did you learn? Jingle bells? Rudolph? Nope, “Horrid Herod.”

5. This:

please do not put tea bags, nappies, or other sanitary disposables down the toilet. use the bin provided.

WHY is anyone making tea in a public toilet, I do wonder??

6. M was helping coach at E’s field hockey practice, and said to a child named Jasper, who has probably only ever been called “Jahspeh,” “Good job, Jasper!” and Jasper looked at him and said, “You say names weird.”

7. A lady I know was looking at moving to north London, and went to look at a mews house in Holland Park. While she was there, she learned from the estate agent that some of the neighbouring mews houses had been converted into garages for the Beckhams’ cars. So basically she’d be living in the Beckhams’ driveway, in a house that they would consider only good enough to be a garage. (She decided not to move.)

8. You know the classic children’s taunt, “Last one there is a rotten egg?” I heard E call out, in an entirely British accent, “Last one there is a squashed to-mah-to!”

9. This one is actually more Italian- than English-related, but it happened here in London so I’ll post it anyway.

I’ve been buying this made-in-Italy dried pasta for the girls through Ocado, the grocery-delivery company I use, which online calls it “toy-shaped pasta.” I’ve never actually bothered to look closely at it to determine what the toys ARE. Well, recently I bothered to look and…

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Ghost, Scooby-Doo, Mystery Machine. All the fun of Scooby-Doo without the licensing fees! Furthermore, my kids have no idea who or what Scooby-Doo is, so the origins of this pasta-shape-making-machine must have roots in the last century.

10. Just your average, run-of-the-mill 3-year-old’s birthday party venue: Princess Diana’s former club.

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11. “Bill posters will be prosecuted” signs mean it’s illegal for anyone to posts signs/ads on a wall that is private property. Someone (or lots of someones) have been adding a particular protest below this sign around London:

Poor Bill Posters. He just can’t get a fair deal.

12. Does Heathrow Airport have a problem with people washing their feet in the sinks in the loos? img_2226

How many people were caught doing that before they decided to put up signs?

13. This has to be the strangest company slogan I’ve ever seen; spotted on a moving/removals truck:img_1426

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