It’s coming down to the wire now, have you got your Christmas shopping done? Thank goodness the Christmas catalogue from iconic London store Liberty arrived.
I’d really run out of ideas of the perfect gifts to give this year, but now I’ve got it under control. There’s truly something for everyone in here.
Need a hostess gift for a holiday party? Liberty’s got you covered.
Because “dusty” and “scorched” are two adjectives that always describe delicious edibles. Or maybe your host would like a nice scented candle!
Dragon- and phoenix-scented candles: So the candles smells like… fire and smoke? Like… any other regular, unscented candle, then?
Unicorn-scented candle: So it smells like… horse? But magic horse.
And speaking of unicorns, there’s also…
“Straight from the body of a mythical beast, Unicorn Snot offers a fresh and fun take on modern cosmetics. Taking a beauty-focused stance on a playful product, Unicorn Snot promise high-grade, anti-irritation ingredients and effortless, long-lasting application; designed for a dazzling finish on both children and adults. Vegan and cruelty-free”
Oh, thank goodness: No unicorns were harmed in the making of this gel.
I’ve also received an email just about every day, with Liberty’s top gift picks, especially for my loved ones:
Lots of good options in here. A leather elephant! A tiger vase! An onion platter! And absurdly expensive candles for my friends who don’t have kids and therefore have money to—literally—burn.
For my bestie, a Rollin’ With My Homies jumper.
A cabbage bowl and otter salt and pepper shakers for my brother. He knows why.
For my father-in-law, some essentials for his desk.
For my darling dapper husband, cheetah slippers and velvet bow tie he can wear whilst lounging in his library, sipping his Scotch. He so fancy.
For my mum and MIL, this puff-sleeve blouse in Fairies print seems like a no-brainer. They’d both look positively ethereal!
And Father Christmas certainly wouldn’t forget the children of London.
For my girls: a £255 leopard-print coat (must be actual leopard), baby’s first laptop, a woolly mammoth rocker (because horses are so middle-class), and an enormous stuffed octopus, because why not? We have so much room in our house for giant stuffed sea creatures! And our nieces and nephews are all getting one-man bands, because we just like messing with our siblings. You’re welcome!
And what’s on MY wish list? Well, this sunshiney-yellow frowny-face vase really captures all the feels.
And I’m just dying to know what is inside THIS mysterious jar, which is listed in the food section:
Dried fish scales, perhaps? Shiny! I can see how that would make for a more environmentally friendly, compostable alternative to traditional confetti. I can also see how it might attract feral cats to your party.
And finally, the stocking stuffer of the year:
Well, just about anyone would appreciate the gift of Post-Poo Drops. Wouldn’t you? This had to have made Oprah’s Favorite Things list at some point. You know she doesn’t let guests use her bathrooms without them. And YOU GET POO DROPS! AND YOU GET POO DROPS! AND YOU! EVERYONE’S GETTING POO DROPS!